So I went to the movies to see Twilight last night…. (Insert punchline here______)

VAMPIRE SOFT PORN, I TELL YA!!!!

AM I the only one who doesn’t find the lead vampire attractive?!  Well technically he is not the lead vampire but he certainly was the main one.  Doesn’t he look like he could be Herman Monsters grandson?!  *thinkin* Now that we are playing “What Monster are you related to?”   Doesn’t the vampire on the left look like he could be Eddie Monster’s son?!

Although I don’t promote obesity… don’t they all look like a bunch of sick, malnourished teenage kids who threw up their lunch before this photo shoot?!  Someone needs to put them into a feed the kids infomercial.  Is this what kids find attractive these days?!  Size zero men… sunken in cheeks… dark circles?!

Ok, back to the main vampire… umm nothing about him screams attractive… *thinkin* was Brad Pitt not available… hmm, yall think he is too old to play a 17 year old vampire?!  Well I would of rather have believed that then this current stick figure playing the role of an attractive vegetarian vampire with a heart… smdh (shaking my DAMN head)

Ok, since we are talking about attractive white boys… I think the guys from Gossip Girl are extremely attractive.  The main one: Chace Crawford!

Can’t yall just visualize him in his tighty-whities leaving love bites on your neck!!! loll

Ok, maybe not him so much.. but Chace is definitely a better choice then above, said actor!

Yall know who else is cute?  Josh Holloway from Lost!

Ok, one more possible vampire.. Gabriel Aubrey

Ok ok ok… back to my movie review.  It was so much dry humping that took place in this movie a pimple popped up on my forehead!  I mean people were actually wrestling in the grass with their clothes on!  I am not sure what to make out of this movie.  I mean you will definitely walk away from this movie feeling confused about your body parts, wondering if you can get pregnant from a kiss, lmaooooo!!!!!!!!

I called up my dad once I got home from this movie and told him I was ready for that talk about the birds and the bee’s!  My young, impressionable eyes have been tainted!

I give this movie movie a D for DON’T GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!

Ok… for the small chance that someone who has read the Twilight series comes across my page… can you please leave me a comment and let me know if the Indian dude and his dad are wolves?!  Because I wondered how did the tribe find the vampires in the woods sucking on a human… and they didn’t get killed themselves.  Don’t worry about ruining the movie… I have endured all the dry humping I can handle for this lifetime lolll.

FOR GUEST:

1. Never show up empty handed (bring a card, bottle of wine, a dildo, etc…)

2. Always respond to an invitation no later then 1 week prior to the event with an yes or no.

2a. If this is a major event such as an Anniversary, Birthday, Graduation, Wedding, etc… If you are unable to attend send a card and/or gift with regrets. Again, at the very least send a card!

2b. If for some reason you can’t show up to an event at the last minute after you have already confirmed your attendance… YOU MUST reach out to the host/hostess immediately with your apologies via PHONE! Keep in mind that people plan parties around the number of guest that say they are going to attend.   Do not dodge the host/hostess out of embarrassment, it comes across as you being a coward!

3. Never try and out do the host… you are there to support them, not make them look bad.

4. Never talk about the host negatively at their own party… you never know who is listening & it’s just plain bad manners.

5. Showing up on time is what is expected of you.  I find that a lot of people are not clever enough to pull off showing up “fashionably late” .

5a. If you don’t have enough funds to bring something to the party… you can redeem yourself by showing up early to help set up or staying late to  help clean up.

6. Never be the only one at the party drunk… except if its your birthday!

7.  Unless you are a stripper and/or a whore, when attending functions @ someone house keep you private areas covered.

8. Always thank the host before leaving their home.

9. Never eat and run… wait at least an hour after eating before leaving.

10.  It is never OK to come out the house frumpy.  Please do your best to be your best..especially at a party!

11. Children at adult parties where drinking is involved is tacky… unless there is a special room reserved for them, away, out of ear shot.

FOR HOST:

1. Always send thank you cards after the event. if it wasn’t a major event then an email will suffice.

2. Clean your damn house before people come over.

3. Never pressure your guest to attend an event… Two times is the maximum amount of times you should reach out to an individual guest.  If they don’t have enough class to respond… you should re-evaluate why you thought enough of them to invite them in the first place.

4. Hot dogs at an adult party are never acceptable.

5. Host:  this goes for your children as well! Children at an adult party where drinking is involved is tacky… unless there is a special room reserved for them, away, out of ear shot.

6. My rule of thumb for throwing parties is if I am having an event where I know my guest will be bringing gifts (i.e. my birthday, wedding, graduation, etc…) I tend to spend more on the food.  Now if it is just your regular ole impromptu get-together… I will focus less on (not ignore) food, and more on good drinks.

7.  I have certain people who only contact me when they want me to attend one of their events… and I absolutely hate that!  So as a rule to host who do this… please know that this is very unclassy behavior.  ESPECIALLY if you do it for major gift giving events!  Learn that your friends are worth more then a gift!

8.  You are who you hang out with… your guest are a reflection of you!  It is OK to have separate circles of friends and have separate events for those individual groups.  Keep your whores, co-workers, and mafia types separate.

9.  Strippers at a baby shower are ok in my book!  Who wants to sit around and look at a fat women all damn day… the ladies of the flower guild need some entertainment!

10.  I think it is refreshing when a host offers a non-alcoholic alternative at a party where liqour is served other then sodas and kool-aid.  Someone say Virgin-Rum Punch?!?  lolll  (*whispering* substitute rum for ginger beer *winks* loll)

I am not quite sure of my actual start date, but I know it was sometime in June.  A lot of people don’t know that I have been blogging for 10 years prior to doing my own site.  I have had minor success with this site, and good reviews from my peers. I have decided to share some secrets to my success for those looking to get started.

I wanted a professionally done site that reflected my personality.  The 2 people/sites that were instrumental in achieving that vision were:

Jade: twentyfourworks He is a truly talented artist. I wanted a caricature that looked exactly like me and Jade created just that. I sent him several pictures of myself and he created my Kitty Bradshaw (Carrie Bradshaw’s black cousin from Harlem, lolll) logo.

When I went back home the weekend before last and sat my family around the computer to look at my site… they all agreed that Jade did a wonderful job creating my likeness. Jade can draw anything just ask him!

Heather: Girly Blog Designs Heather did a really good job and creating the total package which is my site. I get so many compliments on how professional my site looks.

A lot of people who start out blogging think they can build a site themselves or use one of the millions of free templates that are on the web… but if you plan on using your site as a vehicle to make money I suggest you invest in a custom site to help people want to come back to your site.

Heather is really reasonable… so reasonable she is booked until 2009! However contact her to get on her waiting list… the 2 month wait should be ample time for you to purchase your own domain space.

Domain Space: I use Siteground …several hacks that I know recommend this site. I have never had any problems with them and their customer service is on point. They respond back to me immediately with answers to my million and one questions lolll.

Blogroll: It is really important to have a quality Blogroll! I refer to my Blogroll as the “InCrowd”. I make it a point to NOT just add any ole body who request a spot on my site. In addition I really only like to add folks with their own actual website… although I have made a few exceptions.

I have 20 people on my Blogroll and I think I will weed a few out who havent really drawn any traffic to my site. The Kitty Bradshaw brand is a business and I am here to make money and in turn help others make money.

My bottom bitch (lolll) is David Dust. Out of all my BlogRoll he brings the most traffic to my site! I wish I could do half as much for him… but in return I plug his site like crazy! Not only is he my bottom bitch… he is my blogger boyfriend!! lollll

Now don’t get any fresh ideas, and try to steal David from me… David picks you, you don’t pick him! Get your site together and he might consider glancing at your site! loll

Advertisements: I don’t like a lot of advertisements on my site. I try out a few and stick with the ones that make me the most money which is Google Adsense… I just realized BlogRush went out of business so I need to find another company to fill in the space.

In addition a lot of networks add me to their site without letting me know… I can’t really complain because they draw traffic to my site and I don’t have to add their banners to my page. *shrugs* It’s a win win for me…

Widgets: I only have one widget on my page and that is the Feedjit Widget… it helps me track where my traffic is coming from as far as location and websites. It also tells me what post people are reading on my site.

Business Card: I do have a temporary business card that I am using until I get the new layout at the beginning of next year. There are so many opportunities to network with people offline… business cards are the best way to legitimize what you are doing and show people you are serious.

In regards to providing a telephone number… GrandCentral is a free voicemail service. Whenever someone leaves you a voicemail GrandCentral emails the recording to you and you can listen to your messages on your computer. GrandCentral has so many great features you have to go to their site to learn about it. I like how you can record calls… block calls… for example if you give out your GrandCentral number at the club and you come across a stalker who likes to call and call and call you… with GrandCentral you can block them. Now let’s say they want to call you from another number…. with GrandCentral the caller has to announce themselves and you decide if you want to take the call or not. Like I said they have a billion other features but those are my favorites…

I think I covered all of the basics of my page… if anyone has any questions or suggestions please feel free to email me kitty@kittybradshaw.com

30 is the NEW 19!!!!

now for the song of the day… I am dedicating it to myself… a 1978 Classic!!!

Thank you Mom and Dad for doing what grown folks do on Valentines Night 1978 and producing me!!!! *thinkin* I wonder if they was doing it to this song…. lollll

Kitty Says: Why is it like 95 degrees here?!  I packed up all my cute sundresses, sandals, and short shorts and threw them in a suit case and headed straight to JFK… *sighs* Los Angeles winters are the best.  So sorry New York… I can honestly say I don’t miss you in this moment, lolll.

Be  back next week…

Ok, in the process of packing my suit cases, trying on clothes… I turned on my favorite 80’s music and started dancing in my underwear to this, loll!

I had the most amazing time in life this past Tuesday! I stood with the people of Harlem, and witnessed the people shut down 125th to party in the middle of the streets.

Please, forgive me… I know this post is a few days late but I am still recuperating from history being made (and all the parties thereafter). This was better then a Super Bowl Win and New Years Eve times ten! I, Kitty Bradshaw witnessed people hugging, kissing, crying, dancing upon hearing Obama become this Nation’s first Black President. Besides being born, graduating from High School, and Graduating College…. November 4th was the biggest moment in my life. I will tell my children I witnessed 100% pure Joy, Happiness… Pandemonium in the streets of Harlem… I can’t believe I was there!

I mean this from the bottom of my soul… Praise God! I saw people of all races… even the tourist… I SAW A FRENCH CATHOLIC PRIEST AND A JEWISH GUY DANCING IN THE STREETS!!!!! All walks of life rejoiced for Obama… I am so emotional just typing this because I know I will never witness anything like this ever again!

Then just when you thought it couldn’t get any better…. BRAND NEW SILVER MTA TRAINS CAME DOWN 125TH!!!! So everyone’s eyes lite up in amazement… and you hear the voices in the background, “What the hell are trains doing coming down the middle of the streets???!!!!!” So the truck drivers, who were hauling these trains couldn’t get by so they had no choice but to sit there and wait… so Everyone hoped on the trains and started dancing and taking pictures…. these trains were larger then life like Elephants or Giraffes smack dab in the middle of 125th!!!!

It started to rain… who cares?! OBAMA IS THE 44TH PRESIDENT!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!

I witnessed so much… I just don’t know how to express it. I am so lucky, so blessed that I had the opportunity to witness such a moment! This was bigger then a moment, this was bigger than a page in the history books… This was change! America is ready to change! I believe that after witnessing people from all over the world come together in Harlem! I saw Japanese News Reporters dancing in the streets laughing and cheering… I can’t believe the European Tourist came to Harlem to party! If you weren’t there, you missed the event of the Century! I saw the Africans, West Indians, Puerto Ricans, Colombians, Cubans dancing (these were all the dialects my ear could recognize)! I saw Italian Tourist… there are too many to name…. as much as I witnessed, I know I missed a lot. It was too much to take in!!!!

I got home @ 2am… and had 3 hours sleep before I had to go to work! Wednesday, a lot of people called out from work…. but I have bigger plans! I am going to Washington D.C. on January 20th 2009 to witness Barack Obama be sworn in and officially become the United States 44th President! I think anyone who doesn’t go is a fool! I challenge everyone to make plans now to be there!

Kitty says: I’m not sure what to make out of this one… but I am pretty sure he got arrested after they pulled him down for stabbing his wife in the head and the stomach…

Below is video of Barack Obama’s first press conference…

Below is video and transcript of Barack Obama’s acceptance speech….

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.
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