This past weekend I turned down 3 date offers because I was down in the dumps about getting my walking papers…

I decided to take one offer because on Sunday I felt like I needed to get out the house.  This particular dude I met at the club *sigh* “The Shadow Night Club“  *holds head down in shame* and to his credit he was cute in the club.  Now the thing about meeting people in the club is you gotta worry about them being cute under the natural sunlight, loll.  Well he passed that test too…

SO dude says he wants to take me out to dinner and he picks the restaurant.

QUESTION:  Why he take me to a fast food restaurant?! *faints*

Now I am not saying I am too good for a fast food restaurant but it just fucked me up a little that in my few years of dating I have never had a dude take me to a fast food restaurant.  It wasn’t even a good one like McDonald’s or Grey’s Papaya (yum yum) it was this spot called COSI with the nastiest ass food ever!!!!

Think Quiznos with pizza…

So anyways as I was sitting there waiting for my food on a cafeteria tray to come out as I looked at him from across the table I noticed this long  nose hair growing out of his right nostril.  It was so long that it grew out and then curled back into his nose… the next stage for this nose hair was to form into a dread.  I sat there (as he talked) and starred at it the whole time wondering to myself “Does he not notice this long nose hair?!”

*thinking* they should writie an autographical tale about this called “A Nose Hair Grows In Brooklyn”…

*thinkin* Are nose Hair the latest fashion?!

Meanwhile dude over to there talking about whatever makes him tick and I am over here on my side of the table

*thinkin* I wonder what Mrsfab, Saucy Dame Dizzle, Phone Girl, or Wes would have to say about this?!

*thinkin* why am I thinking about these chicks on my date?!

*thinking* I wish this dude was Terrell Owens… cause Terrell would definately not walk out the house with hair extensions growning out his nose.

*sigh* If Terrell was here we would be gazing into each others eyes blowing kisses at each other…

I mean should I be more disturbed that he took me to a fast food restaurant or that he had a mullet tail growing out of his nose?

In any event I offered to pay for the meal because trust me it was under $10.  He declined like the big man on campus and pulled out his credit card like he was moving mountains.

Kitty says: Yes, impress me big daddy!  Interest charges are mad sexy!  Ok, maybe I sound stuck up… So in order to make amends for me sounding stuck up the next guy I meet I am going to ask him out to dinner first as soon as I get a job, lolll!  Men need to be treated too ya know!  Maybe I should offer to buy a man a drink… *sigh* but I am scarred of rejection, lolll… plus Terrell wouldnt like me doing that (he gets jealous when I talk about other men on my site)

The month of August should be “Cater To The Men Month” because there are some good men out there who don’t have raccoon tails growing out their nose and they should be honored!

Ladies:  Jump on this dammit!  Wintertime is fast approaching and I don’t wanna hear no shit about how yall can’t find any good men and it’s cold outside!

I would like to dedicate this song to all the men… cause Kitty loves you (as long as you don’t have donkey pussy growing out your nose..) *kisses*

Commerical of the Week…

Did anyone notice how dude was stalkin out in front of the bathroom waiting for chicks fresh off the toilet to mack too? lollll

These commercials enough to make you wanna stay home and read a book, lolll

Aight, I love my fellow bloggers from my “In Crowd” crew and their sites as well! I’ve been thinking about ways to interact with them.  One day I was watching the Food Network’s Bobby Flay show “Food Network Showdown” and it inspired me.  If you haven’t seen it, Bobby Flay goes around the country and challenges chefs on their specialties.

What I came up with is the “Saturday Showdown”.  The way it works is each week I will pick one blog site from my “In Crowd” and challenge them on one of their favorite topics.  They in turn create a post on their blog site accepting my challenge and presenting a response to whatever the challenge is.

This week I will challenge David Dust (my new blog boyfriend, lol) to a sexy man challenge.  I will post pictures of a man I deem sexy and David (if he accepts my challenge) will counter attack with a similar post about a man he deems sexy.  You, the audience, will then comment on whether you feel David or I won.

(click below for)

David’s Site

Now David… I present to you “Chocolate” in all it’s glory.  I just want this man to devour me.  I’m caramel and he is chocolate and together we will create a freaky snickers bar.

Kitty Bradshaw’s Saturday Showdown Who Won The Sexy Man Challenge: David Dust or Kitty Bradshaw? David Dust Kitty Bradshaw view results —>

*ques suicidal white girl music*

Well, come Monday I am about to get my hustle on.  Life is a serious adventure…. especially when you live in New York.  I got some excuse like “Not enough funding in the budget”… *sigh* it’s a cold feeling when your out of work.  Well the pros are my rent is paid for August,  I have an interview lined up with a Head Hunter on Monday, and a brand new “Rabbit” in the box. lollll

Some friendly advice from friends:

greyfilms: Kitty, I think you need a popsicle to make you feel better…

Nish: Let’s go to the shadow to mack to some Old Dudes for an ego boost…

LD: You alive ain’t you?  You got a roof over your head don’t you?  Well what you got to be upset about?!

BklynScorp:  That’s fucked up how the hell they gone fire you after you leave and get home on a Friday Night?

Kitty says: Well I got this whole weekend to be depressed, but come Monday I gotta shake it off.  I’ve been kicked out of better establishments then this.

…I think I’ll go have that popsicle now

The 26th Annual Martin Luther King Jr. Concert Series performances are held Monday nights
7:30 pm
at Wingate Field,
entrances on
Brooklyn Avenue
(Rutland Road
and
Winthrop Street.)

The public is encouraged to bring their own chairs because seating is limited.

Performers are subject to change without notice. Call the concert hotline for updates at 718-222-0600

NO cameras,
NO audio
or
video recording,
NO alcohol, NO pets, NO bottles, NO smoking

I will definitely be there for Erykah and Jill!

The Best $50.90 ever spent PORCAO Brazilian Resturant?

On May 26, I went on a date to PORCAO. Words cant explain what my taste buds want to express. If you’ve ever been to a restaurant that arouses all of your senses and makes your toes twinkle, then you can only begin to imagine my experience at PORCAO. From the moment you walk in the door you are catered to. The lead waiter comes over and introduces himself and finds out what type of service you would like and from that point on the most stressful thing you have to do is flip your coin over to signify if you want to continue to be served or not.

Although I wouldn’t recommend this restaurant during summer months for the simple fact its comfort food and you know that type of food sticks to the ribs. I suggest spring, fall winter months. They feed you so much you barely want to move. I highly recommend taking a few laps around the block after exiting the restaurant just to burn the food off.

Lastly, If you go you must have the “Passion Fruit Mousse” bka “Orgasm In A Cup”. *sighs* My lips wrapped around that spoon like it was a life or death situation. The Passion Fruit Mousse became more interesting then my date…smh sad but true lolll. I lost interest in my date like a fat girl at a weight watchers meeting who see’s the Crispy Creme truck roll by lmaooooo!

PORCAO was soooo damn good I haven’t been back since. Anything that damn good… you need to stay away from. Smh… yall please go to PORCAO’s and taste the “Orgasm In A Cup!”

Porcão NYC
360 Park Av. South
at 26th Street

From USA: (212) 252 7080
http://www.porcaous.com/newyork.html

Come here Brooklyn folks and sit down next to Kitty *pats seat cushion*  What I am about to say to yall, I say with love… 

In all my years of living on this earth, and clubbing and going to bars…  I have never, ever, ever bear witnessed to a Bar Fight!  You Brooklyn people should be ashamed of yourselves!!!!

Didn’t bar fights go out of style in the 1840’s?!  Who the hell picks up a bar stool and trys to bash someones head with it, or try and hit someone with a bear bottle?!  Then when the madness ended… everyone went back to their perspective seats to finish their drinks as if nothing happened.  I can’t believe I stood there and watched that unfold (out of the way of course, loll)  This was an isloated incident towards the front of the bar when the bouncer stepped away for a brief 30 seconds.

I mean Brooklyn people talk to Kitty… what’s next on the agenda a shoot out in the middle of the street at high noon?

Well *shrugs* I rather yall use bar stools then guns.  No one died, just a few hurt feelings and that was it.  My folks said I should of took pictures… but yall know how that goes when you witness something for the first time… your so busy in shock you cant think about anything else.

In any event this was the most interesting time I’ve had at Moe’s bar in Fort Greene.  Sometimes I go there after the movie at Habana Outpost.  Usually I tell people it’s boring but after this past Sunday I gained a little more respect for it.  It’s a locals bar and it has a family feel.  So I recommend yall check it out.  I heard during the week days it is packed for Happy Hour.  I gotta call my girl Nish #2 and ask her if she wants to meet there for a drank. 

Moe’s

 

July 25, 1923 — July 22, 2008

Born Estelle Scher to Polish immigrants in New York, Getty fell in love with theater when she saw a vaudeville show at age 4.

She married New York businessman Arthur Gettleman (the source of her stage name) in 1947, and they had two sons, Carl and Barry. The marriage prevailed despite her long absences on the road and in “The Golden Girls.”

Getty was evasive about her height, acknowledging only that she was “under 5 feet and under 100 pounds.” The Internet Movie Database gives her height as 4-feet-9.

In addition to her son Carl, Getty is survived by son Barry Gettleman, of Miami, Fla.; a brother, David Scher of London, and a sister, Rosilyn Howard of Las Vegas.

Golden Girls used to be my show, I used to watch it with my granny.  She was my favorite character.  I thought I would pay tribute to her.

---

I visited this new planet called Long Island a couple of months back… I went to the Hempstead region. Very strange… with an interesting civilization of people called “Long Islanders”. The wheels in my mind have been spinning ever since and although I don’t have anything negative to say… I don’t think I will go back to visit anytime soon.

My girl Nish and I went to this club called Tabu and this club was jumping to say the least… who knew
Long Island had good clubs?! Certainly not me… but I am here to tell you besides the impending story I’m about to tell yall… I had a good ‘ole time (yee haaaaw, lolll).

So anyways my girl and I are chilling and I see this girl that looks just like my cousin, except my cousin has a bigger booty… so I decide to send my cousin a quick text message. In that moment this dude comes up from behind me and starts dancing. I turn around to see what he looks like (he was cute too!!!) I go back to hit send on my text message and put my phone away… before I could do anything (believe
me when I say it was a Milli-second from when I turned my head back around from him to my phone)

I hear a chick cursing up a storm with this loud ass megaphone mouth screeching over the music within my 3 inches of personal space on my 8 o clock. Immediately I go into *it’s about to go down mode* and put up my phone up and turn my head back around to view my 8 o clock… mind yall dude still behind me… but he stops dancing IMMEDIATELY!… All I know is I see this 4′9, 500 pound chick ((SCREAMING))))… this chick
was beast in the face and round… she resembled a soccer ball with legs and a head… *shrugs* I didn’t know if I should of attempted to take her seriously or kicked into the net to make a field goal?! I mean seriously what would yall have done?!

This broad was over in the club going off and it took me an extra second to register she was going off on dude behind me…

So she was over on my right saying such key phrases to the guy as:

“Who the fuck do you think you are???”

“You better get your ass over here… Your ass know better!!!!”

My mouth fell the fuck open and I turned back to look at my girl… like you see this shit??!!!! Her eyes were wide open in shock… so I’m like WTF… my 1st initial thought was OMG! I hope this dude don’t pop this broad in the mouth… but when I turned around to see what he was doing…. he was up on me real close as if he was trying to hide behind me… as if he was scared and waiting for me to protect him!

Please believe me when I say in that next moment this dude got from behind me and she started walking and he followed behind her with his head held down low… as if he was a little kid in trouble or some shit… he didn’t say not one damn word.. he just fell in line and followed slowly behind her

I don’t give a DAMN!…every male resident in the state of New York past, present, future, gay, straight, and confused has lost 2 points on the strength of this one dude in the club!!!!

Is that how NY men get down… yall like yalls women to rip off ya man hood in public????

OH MY WORD
OH MY WORD
!!!!

shakin my head in disbelief…

I’m Done!

Tobey is a GANGSTA! Tobey don’t give a damn about your carpet, your company over, nor your bad ass demon seed!

Tobey woke up and said: “I am mad at the establishment and I’m not gonna take this shit anymore! I am tired of these motha fuckas not taking me for walks, feeding me table scraps, and forcing me to like your kid. This is how I am gonna show you my appreciation by going after the thing you worship the most!”

FUCK YOUR CARPET BITCH!

later that day…

Loll, no seriously every time I see that commercial I fall out laughing!!!!