Hey House Cats-
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before how everyone year I prance out onto Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn for the West Indian Day Parade. I am a huge fan of the parade, and jokingly refer to myself as a “Fake West Indian”. When I first started attending the parade, I would pick an island to represent and wave their flag. Fast forward to now I decided two parades ago to just be true to myself and wear my American Flag. For the most part I always have a great time and have not experienced any of the violence that the media is so quick to report.
So this year something happened that was totally out of character for me. It all started when I decided to make my own nutcracker out of fear of drinking someone elses concoction, not knowing what was actually being put into it. One year I had a nutcracker with no liquor in it… by the time I popped the lid off the vendor was long gone. So this year I opted for my own mixture. I mixed Clarkes Court Pure White Rum, Domaine de Canton Ginger Liqueur, and St. Germain Elder Flower. I mixed the 3 parts into an empty 20 oz Sprite bottle. My next plan of action was to spend more time primping in the mirror instead of eating something before I spent the day drinking. As soon as I hit Eastern Parkway, I ran into a man selling Sorrel. I mixed the Sorrel with my liquor mixture and began to sip on the mixture like my life depended on it.
At some point… around 4pm I decide to eat, lollll. Do yall see how this is a series of small fails leading up to the big FAIL? I ate my food while standing up and next thing I know Eastern Parkway started spinning. I immediately moved towards a bench and put my head on my hand to try and stabilize… that was the beginning of the end. I must have threw up 20 times off to the side of the bench. I was so embarrassed as I feel it is not lady like to vomit in public. I was what they call, “College White Boy Wasted” lolll. For a time there I didn’t think I was going to make it home… I started calling all of my Brooklyn friends, but everyone was also drunk out on Eastern Parkway. I was able to get in touch with my one friend, but in the long process of trying to hail a cab, I was able to sober up and decided to go home.
Do you all remember when you were in kindergarten and all of the kids would take part in nap time?! That was my subway ride home… it was nap time for all drunks. As far as I am concerned New York transit could have passed out blankies and turned off the lights. Everyone on my car was ASLEEP, lmaooo! Below is a list of 10 things I did and didn’t do on Eastern Parkway on Labor Day. If you attended the West Indian Day Parade on Labor Day, let me know your experience
10 Things I did and didn’t do on Eastern Parkway on Labor Day
1. Got felt up by a snake while drunk (Note: I am scared to death of snakes)
2. Thew up 20 times
3. Made a new friend
4. Went to sleep on a bench
5. Ate West Indian lo-mein for the first time
6. Didn’t make it the halfway point of the half way point of the parade.
7. Watched Anthony Weiner dance off beat on his promotional float for the mayor’s race
8. Helped lost tourist from Germany find their way
9. Danced in the streets while it rained
10. Had an amazing time!!!!