Ruth Madoff may need a roommate.. Lord knows 2.5 million is not enough to live on in New York City…

So I am willing to upgrade from my large spacious apartment to a top floor penthouse in the Tribeca area with rooftop access for my substantial contribution of $700 a month to help Good Ole Ruthie survive on her own.

Now before I can consider Ruthie as my possible roommate, I need to make sure she can comply with the Roommates Code of Conduct:

1. Anything with more then one leg living in the penthouse needs to pay rent! That goes for any and all animals…. ESPECIALLY pampered pouches… they need to pay a 3rd.

2. Thou shall clean up behind ones self (and your spoiled rotten pampered pouches). Matter of fact I am open to Ruthie paying for maid service out of her 2.5 million.

3. Thou shall not have loud sex when the other roommate is around (even if you think they are asleep). Note: this rule is more for me… lawd knows what type of Algy has formed on top of Ruthies dried river bed.

4. Thou shall not use the last strip of toilet tissue and not replace the roll

5. Thou shall pay the rent and utilities on time each month, no excuses! (no checks or money orders… Trust in God, everyone else pay in Cash… especially the Madoffs!!!!)

6. Thou shall hide all pornographic materials when the other roommates parents come for a visit.

7. Thou shall not disturb one’s roommate when they are watching football on Sundays. (GO RAIDERS!!!!)

8. Thou shall hold the “three S’s” sacred by keeping quiet and/ or keeping your distance when the other roommate is sleeping, studying, or shitting.

9. Thou shall look for new residence if the other roommate develops Single White Female Syndrome. (Standing over your roommate while they are sleeping is never cool!)

10. Thou shall keep your phone sex conversations down to a whisper when your babies daddy calls collect from jail.

Now, some potential roommate would shy away from shacking up with Ruthie because of all the media scrutiny. I would imagine myself like Naomi Campbell… emerging from the lobby onto the cruel, cold, fashionable streets of NYC with the latest designer frocks on, straight off of the runway, lolll. No, not really… but in the dream sequence of my mind thats how it would go down!

You better work it Naomi!