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"At age 88, I wake up every morning and say to myself, 'Well, I'm still in New York. Thank you, God.'" — Mayor Koch, R.I.P. Ed Koch
Jun
9
2008

My 1st Site: Dedicated to…

Written by Kitty Bradshaw and posted in Tags: , , , The Kitty Bradshaw Minute

This year, May 3rd, I participated in the Revlon Run/Walk. As always, I had a very positive time and got to see thousands of people come together to fight Women’s cancer. I have participated in this event years before, but this was the first year I did it in memory of someone. It’s sort of surreal because Cancer is that something you hear about but don’t truly know it until it happens to either you or someone close to you. When I first found out my grandmother was diagnosed with Cancer…. I kind of didn’t take it serious. She is someone I couldn’t imagine not being around. You hear about people beating Cancer, and I really didn’t accept that she had it.  To be honest… until recently I didn’t accept that she passed away from it. She passed at the end of 2003 and it has taken that long to believe she is gone. I grieved in stages…

The first 2 years go by so quick… you kind of go into shock. It’s like a limb being pulled off. You know that its missing but you can’t get it back. Your grief is like a big pink elephant in the room and you kinda just spend a year or two looking at it trying to process that it’s there. The second year you are totally numb.

The third year you kinda start processing that there is an elephant in the room and although you won’t address it, you accept that it’s in the room. All though I prayed and communicated with God, I stopped going to church. A close friend of the family passed, and I refused to go to the funeral. I think I have been to church once since she passed and it was hard. Eventually I will get back in the swing of Church again but… something in me just can’t go.

The 4th… I started to address the fact that she was not around. I started thinking of conversations I never had with her. I started trying to resolve the issues we had and asked God to pass messages from me to her. I want her to know that I am sorry for little things and most importantly denying her the chance to apologize to me for things she had done to me before she passed. This was the year the healing process started.

The 5th year I was ready to do the Revlon Run/Walk… it was like therapy. Being around others who have lost someone to Cancer and those who have survived. This year I finally acknowledge that she is not here, and that she is with me in spirit. With our connection… I know she would never leave me. If the tables were turned I know that I would never leave her. Despite all our many differences… she is apart of me.

My first website is dedicated to my grandmother… I was so hurt I didn’t realize that the pink elephant was really my Angel, and it took me 5 years to see that.

About The Author:

ABOUT KITTY BRADSHAW: Kitty Bradshaw is an Online Influencer and Web Socialite that has been blogging for over 16 years. Upon moving to New York, she created a new blog on Bi coastal lifestyle, New York to LA move, and New York Cocktails which evolved into an online business called KittyBradshaw.com, and has since branded herself across the web. Over the last 5 years she has used the name Kitty Bradshaw to broker contracts and brand ambassadorships with Gap, Toyota, celebrity hairstylist Cocoa Mane, and currently Best Buy Electronics. Kitty has written for the Wendy Williams Show blog, hosted events for McDonald’s Corporation, and Johnson & Johnson. She has also worked with Bacardi Mixers, which led to her own signature drink called “The Kitty Bradshaw”. Black Enterprise featured Bradshaw as one of the top African American bloggers in the country, and she was recently featured on Technorati. Bradshaw uses her blog as a career vehicle to take her new places, and to meet interesting people. KittyBradshaw.com has organically amassed a network of 50,000 and counting, her approach is that of New York lifestyle from a California perspective. Bradshaw’s motto is, “Conquer New York, conquer the world.”

2 Comments to “My 1st Site: Dedicated to…”

  1. Heather says:

    What a beautiful post, and a great dedication. I too know what it’s like to lose someone to cancer, and it’s hard to move forward, but I think you are off to a great start!

  2. Onyx says:

    I love it!!! Represent SOL!!!

    Onyx

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