Dear Michelle Williams,

Michelle, please get with Kelly and brainstorm ideas on how to get Beyonce to make another Destiny’s Child album. Sweetie, I heard your singing voice LIVE! @ the J&R free concert series, and I started to ask for my money back.    No, it’s not me hating… several people said the same thing that your performance last Thursday @ City Hall Park in NYC fell short of a dog’s howl at the moon. You clearly could not hit the high notes, and therefore cracked under pressure. A friend of mine made a very good suggestion that maybe you should consider house music… so that the beat can drown out that high pitch/ Macy Gray/ mosquito’s nest that you call a voice.

After watching you and Terrance Howard perform LIVE! I truly believe that if R&B died today, you both would have had a hand in it. I’ve never seen studio voices try and perform live. Michelle, you and Terrance Howard are the reason lip syncing was invented. Please see T-Pain for voice box dealers near you!

Now before you get in an uproar… some people are just not meant to go solo.  Some people are just meant to do back up vocals, or join a choir, or be the chick in the shadows of a group. Yes, I know it was a free concert but you also have an album coming out. I refuse to support studio voices, you cheat us we cheat you by getting your music on bootleg! The goal is to make fans @ the free concert series not turn them away when they hear what your “true” LIVE! voice sounds like.

I’m curious to see what Kelly sound’s like LIVE! If it’s any consolation, Beyonce, in my opinion is not a natural singer either. Although she would like  to be an Aretha (before the tremendous, hefty, run out of breath in the middle of a verse weight gain), Whitney (before the crack), Teena Marie (during the crack), Tina Turner (while Ike was beating her), etc. but in the process she hollers. Hollering doesn’t make you a singer… you can’t go into hollering after you fall short of hitting the note or fake it by going into a million and one rifts.

(note: please seek out Teena Marie’s Casanova Brown for reference on true vocal range. She can hit those notes LIVE!, high on crack, without batting an eyelash. You youngins need to learn a thing about natural vocal range!)

Michelle, in regards to your new cd coming out… smh I now see Matthew Knowles master plan.  Matthew is evil, but smart.  Not only did he keep the unattractive chick in the group but he made sure she couldn’t sing. Then on the records he drowned her out with his daughters loud screams that way no one from the group could ever do better “solo wise” then his daughter.  That was an ingenious plan!

Kind Regards,

Kitty Bradshaw

*sigh* Had it not been for the Friday night Jazz portion of the J&R Free Concert Series I would still be having nightmares from Michelle and Terrances performance….  unfortunately I missed Solanges performance.