I am no expert in successful relationship, but I know a thing or two about dysfunctional- toxic relationships, loll. So as you read this article know that the master of break-ups is giving you insight on how to walk away because there was a time that I wanted someone so desperately that I ceased loving myself in order to maintain the myth of him.
When two people break up, part ways, and/ or cease to exist it generally happens for a reason- two simply were not compatible be it personal, professional, or romantic. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone where there is constant arguing, distrust, games being played, long periods without speaking, or simply a gut feeling that there’s something just not right? Well what is happening here is a square peg being forced into a circle which causes friction better known as DRAMA!
So now you’re at the point where you want to part ways. If you’re lucky you both walk away with closure… but in most cases you have unresolved issues mixed with anger. One person that plays the villain and the other is left hurt. What both sides fail to realize is that when you are unequally yoked you both are walking against traffic and the inevitable will always happens be it cheating, lying, or abuse. Through the breakup process hopefully you come out better because you learned from your mistakes, and you honed in on what your needs are as a person. During my last relationship I walked away not knowing what I wanted, but was crystal clear on what I didn’t need. Once the breakup happens, pull the lesson from the wreckage and keep on moving.
Now you’re back single again. The unfamiliar scares you to death and you start to feel lonely. You find yourself thinking about the possibilities while also weighing the pros and cons of being single. For a lot of people the thought of being alone scares them so much that you begin to second guess the decision to leave your last relationship. You questions if you were too tough on the person, you take on more responsibility than required in the demise, and block out instances of any wrong doing on your exes part. You loose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel and revert back to the comfort of rock bottom. Being with the wrong person is rock bottom and can be compared to being in prison. There is no growth as long as you are confined to the “relationship cell.” Lady Gaga described it best, “Bad Romance.”
When your ex calls and you answer; you’re setting yourself up to be pulled back in. Reasons your ex comes back calling: sex, convenience, loneliness, desperation, monetary, the thrill of a double conquer, or closure. There is no judgement in going back but keep in mind that the more you move backwards, the further you move away from who you’re supposed to be with. You often hear the saying, “You ex is your EX for a reason.” Have faith that when you cross paths with the one you are meant to be with there will be no going back and fourth. Know that every day spent with your past, is one less day with your future.
So when your ex comes back around, ask them to let you go. Some will be persistent, while others will see it as rejection. You don’t owe anyone anything once the relationship has concluded. Find strength within to leave, be alone, and grow from the experience. Dear Ex, Please let me go.