Kitty Ebert Reviews The Movie: Twilight
Posted: 
November 30, 2008 at 5:00 am
So I went to the movies to see Twilight last night…. (Insert punchline here______)
VAMPIRE SOFT PORN, I TELL YA!!!!
AM I the only one who doesn’t find the lead vampire attractive?! Well technically he is not the lead vampire but he certainly was the main one. Doesn’t he look like he could be Herman Monsters grandson?! *thinkin* Now that we are playing “What Monster are you related to?” Doesn’t the vampire on the left look like he could be Eddie Monster’s son?!
Although I don’t promote obesity… don’t they all look like a bunch of sick, malnourished teenage kids who threw up their lunch before this photo shoot?! Someone needs to put them into a feed the kids infomercial. Is this what kids find attractive these days?! Size zero men… sunken in cheeks… dark circles?!
Ok, back to the main vampire… umm nothing about him screams attractive… *thinkin* was Brad Pitt not available… hmm, yall think he is too old to play a 17 year old vampire?! Well I would of rather have believed that then this current stick figure playing the role of an attractive vegetarian vampire with a heart… smdh (shaking my DAMN head)
Ok, since we are talking about attractive white boys… I think the guys from Gossip Girl are extremely attractive. The main one: Chace Crawford!
Can’t yall just visualize him in his tighty-whities leaving love bites on your neck!!! loll
Ok, maybe not him so much.. but Chace is definitely a better choice then above, said actor!
Yall know who else is cute? Josh Holloway from Lost!
Ok, one more possible vampire.. Gabriel Aubrey
Ok ok ok… back to my movie review. It was so much dry humping that took place in this movie a pimple popped up on my forehead! I mean people were actually wrestling in the grass with their clothes on! I am not sure what to make out of this movie. I mean you will definitely walk away from this movie feeling confused about your body parts, wondering if you can get pregnant from a kiss, lmaooooo!!!!!!!!
I called up my dad once I got home from this movie and told him I was ready for that talk about the birds and the bee’s! My young, impressionable eyes have been tainted!
I give this movie movie a D for DON’T GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!
Ok… for the small chance that someone who has read the Twilight series comes across my page… can you please leave me a comment and let me know if the Indian dude and his dad are wolves?! Because I wondered how did the tribe find the vampires in the woods sucking on a human… and they didn’t get killed themselves. Don’t worry about ruining the movie… I have endured all the dry humping I can handle for this lifetime lolll.
Tags: chace crawford, gabriel aubrey, movies, New York Reviews, twilight, vampires
Dearest Kitty -
You are at least the 3rd Blogger who said don’t go see this movie – so I won’t.
I could watch Gabriel Aubrey tie his shoelaces all day, and I’d be happy. But your boy Chace Crawford?: Gay, Gay, GAY. He and his “roommate” Ed Westwick (the guy to the left of Chace in your picture) are bumping uglies big-time. Sorry ladies.
XOXOXOXO
That movie doesn’t even look interesting. Deadly looking, anorexic pale ass teens? Hell 2 the naw Kitty!
[...] Kitty Ebert Reviews The Movie: Twilight Ok ok ok… back to my movie review. It was so much dry humping that took place in this movie a pimple popped up on my forehead! I mean people were actually wrestling in the grass with their clothes on! I am not sure what to make out of … [...]
LMAO
Kitty, I am with you. I saw the “lead” guy on Leno and I thought he was just plain weird and not cute at all. I was not even tempted to go and see this foolishness!
i don’t understand what is the appeal of Robert Pattinson (Edward), his nose looks funny to me
Twilight is a thousand times better than Harry Potter. I really love this movie, it is the best movie i have ever watched.
[...] Click here to read my movie review on the first Twilight film. [...]
Twilight is simply the best movie and i am so much addicted to it. Kirsten Stewart is very pretty and Robery Pattinson is so handsome!!!
I cannot get enough of the movie Twilight. This is the best movie that i have ever watched. I love the chemistry between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson *
Twilight is the best movie i ever watched. I really love the vampire love story theme and i like Bella Swans character.
Kristen Stewart is the perfect Bella .. All around the casting was perfect, everyone had so much so much angst that they fit the story perfectly
Twlight is really a great movie and i watched it several times. I love Kristen Stewart and also the rest of the cast of Twilight, they are really superb.
ok people…this movie is extremly bad, low budget, the very worst of cast, it seems like it was written by a drunk 3 year old, slow kid with a krayon, and kristen (bella) is dumb as a wheel (real life and the movies), she is in a delusion that she is actually sexy, someone should give her a call and bring her back to the real world, where good looking people dont look like retarded gremlins!(yeah, google it, kids). I can not believe that anyone is watching something this bad, people should not support bad movies or they will keep making them! the whole idea of love vampires…..just plain stupid. bottom line…if this movie was a horse, i'd shoot it! this movie is made for girls that are under 13…no one else should even watch it. the vorst movie i have ever seen and thats including the movie "Year One"…..that should say alot! do not spend your money people
Will I have to say that the twilight as a movie
Did not come very will I mean it was not that god like the story
If u read the book you will find that the story is completely
Assume but the cast of the movie they we’re super great I can’t emagn butter one
But steel the stores r butter and yes the Indian gay how is name is jacob black
And he’s father how name is billy black are werewolves
Great post, I really agree with what you have to say.